While people in my school were busy signing up in different organizations, I, on the other hand, was busy signing up on different social networking sites. I remember creating my first public and online account on Friendster where users ask for testimonials on their feed. I had like 2 or 3 a week from classmates and friends. After all that pretentious befriending, I got into Tumblr and started blogging. Thereafter, Facebook came into existence so I created one too, where I was friends with my real-life pals, as well as acquaintances. I also had Snapchat and Instagram where I used to frequently post random things like screenshots or the weather–you know, something that no one really cares about. Among the websites that I mentioned, and before I decided to delete it from my phone, I was visibly active on Instagram for a long time.
Instagram was created mainly for photo sharing. During its first years, online users were not very conscious of what they post- it doesn’t matter whether it’s blurred or tilted or whether it’s too dark or too exposed. Everything was raw in itself. People back then were confident in sharing life updates without fear of getting judged. But as time went on, it started to get stingy and forged. Some had to delete old pictures, which I’m also guilty of, to make way for new ones that would fit the “brand” they envisioned. Like many, I had my feed curated according to my taste. I was extremely selective on what to post only to end up tossing them in my drafts. I was happy for a while. I made friends. I got the number of likes I deserved until one day I grew tired of it and so I left.
“It’s not a very good feeling having to put yourself side by side with someone you barely know.”
I deleted Instagram for personal and practical reasons. Like a few who have decided to quit social media for good, I too share the same sentiments as to why I should completely abandon my presence online. One reason, or rather an excuse, is that it’s taken up so much of my time. Instead of doing more important tasks, I spend time watching as many stories as I can which would take 2-5 hours a session. Two, I don’t have anything interesting to share with my online peers. Three, and I still deny this to this day—that I feel bad for myself. I start to compare and later question my life and my choices. It’s not a very good feeling having to put yourself side by side with someone you barely know. I used to get inspiration and motivation from the pictures that I see, but because everyone seems to be having a good time all the time, aside from me, I tend to get anxious and a little insecure. I thought to myself that if I can’t join them with all the glam and fancy, it’s best for me to leave. And that’s what I did–I deleted the app. It’s not because Instagram is negative for me, but because I became toxic to myself. I didn’t work on myself for years only to get knocked down again. I deleted Instagram to regain my self-esteem and improve myself in terms of my choices without bothering to compare what others have to what I lack. I will probably visit from time to time, but I won’t spend as much time as I had before. ■
Author
MARIA CRISTINA MIRANDA
News Editor
A.Y. 2019 – 2020